I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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