Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
