a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
