I must be too annoying 4 u.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize