you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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