One girl and one boy is just not enough.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
