i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
