By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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