what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
