Midget sex pt 2 tonight
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
