you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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