Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
