I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
