Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
