My boss' voice literally gives me gas
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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