the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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