just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
