Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
