I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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