Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
