I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Fuck appropriateness.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
