So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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