Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.

Fav 20 2526 948
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(719): View more from Colorado

I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.

Fav 15 3342 987
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(440): View more from Ohio

We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.

Fav 8 1492 5784
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(305): View more from Florida

its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face

Fav 23 3985 2019
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(307): View more from Wyoming

first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.

Fav 14 6360 1447
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(231): View more from Michigan

I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs

Fav 17 1316 3446
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(559): View more from California

His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me

Fav 6 2061 909
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(404): View more from Georgia

Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.

Fav 8 585 993
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole

Fav 2 670 385
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