I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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