whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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