you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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