Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
