No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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