i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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