Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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