i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
