Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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