you guys were way drunker than both of me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
