last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
