god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
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What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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