I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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