plz talk dirty to me
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
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MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
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They are going to name an STD after you.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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