I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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