I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
