her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
