Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
