As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
