piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
