I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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