wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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