I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
