do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
