the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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