Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
