I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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