it wasn't lemon gatorade
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
