I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
