Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
