I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize