I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
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He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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