im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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