Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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