i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
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I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
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Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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