He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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