I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you had me at cake vodka
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
