Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
