I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The Olympian is in my bed
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
