im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize