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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Umm..who the fuck is this?

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh shit

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic

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