I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Green mimosas i think yes
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think your dad took our porno
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
