there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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