oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me