no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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