I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize