So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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