he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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