She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize