Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he laminated a picture of his dick.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
