i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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