First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize